Archive for: December, 2009

Prince of Persia (PS3)

Dec 19 2009 Published by under Video Games

Do you like companion broads and jumping and jumping puzzles? Then you will like Prince of Persia.

Score

I really don’t like any of those things. The graphics look great for cel-shading, the mechanics and controls feel good, it seems to have an interesting story, but it I just didn’t have fun playing it. So on the High Five scale, Prince of Persia gets a 2 out of 5.

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Invictus

Dec 16 2009 Published by under Movies

Invictus feels right, although you may not believe you are watching a movie about post-apartheid South Africa and rugby directed by Clint Eastwood.

Morgan Freeman is not always Nelson Mandela.

Morgan Freeman is not always Nelson Mandela.

Morgan Freeman reminds you that he is one of the best actors of his generation in this movie, but the fact that he plays Mandela here is a tiny bit of a let down: this probably means the sturdy biopic we should expect about his life is far off from now, and probably past the end of Freeman’s career. Even so, Freeman inhabits the character here, from the gestures and body language, the walking pace, the speech cadence, and the hybrid-multi-African-language accent heard in Mandela’s English.

Matt Damon is enormous and sounds, at least to my American ears, completely convincing as a white South African. At rest he resembles Francois Pienaar in size and hair color – Pienaar looks more like Sting than Matt Damon – but the action sequences show Damon looking like a real rugby player, and closely resembling the grimacing gameplay stills of Pienaar. His performance goes a long way to show off his chops as an accomplished actor, but in this movie Damon feels more like the backup band for Freeman than a partner in a duet. That isn’t bad or good, but rather just something that happens.

My friend Patrick knows much more about rugby than I do after having played the sport for several years, and he was satisfied with the treatment the game received, right down to the pre-match haka of the New Zealand team. Eastwood does it right: there’s no 20 minute expository rules lesson, but the editing shows what plays and scoring attempts equal what point amounts and how the ball is advanced down the field.

Similarly, the film assumes a certain level of historical knowledge: to really grasp what’s going on, you need to have a basic understanding of what apartheid was, how South Africa changed after it was abolished, how South Africa was before it was abolished, and who Nelson Mandela is and the role he’s played in world history. It isn’t much to ask, but I’ve heard some critics complain about it. Honestly, if you don’t know enough about basic recent history to understand this movie, you’re an awful person to begin with and I don’t want you to enjoy things.

The music choices and the score are goofy, but you get that in a Clint Eastwood movie. At least this time he didn’t write the score himself; rather, one Kyle Eastwood wrote the score. I don’t know if he’s Eastwood’s son or some other relation, but he seems to have inherited his father’s penchant for over-earnest, heavy-handed film scoring.

The only real complaint I have with the movie is that the big sports conclusion finale is in slow motion. As in, almost 10 minutes of slow motion. It’s a little much.

The script is well written, the cinematography is well done (and really shows off what a beautiful land South Africa is) and the story is great, one of those terrific tales about the very real unifying power of sport. Whereas plenty of similar stories are told with an overly saccharin feel, Eastwood shows what a professional craftsman he’s become, trading raw emotion for nuanced storytelling in all the right places. It isn’t high art by any means, but it is high quality film making.


Score

On the High Five Scale, Invictus gets 4 hakas out of 5.

haka haka haka haka

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Motorola Droid

Dec 14 2009 Published by under Products

Droid is by and large the best smartphone I have ever owned, and seems to be – at least for the moment – the smartest smartphone on the market.

I made the switch from my rock-solid and super dependable Verizon Blackberry Curve for two reasons: I had an upgrade come around a few months before Droid launched, and I have had Google plugged into every hole I’ve got for the last three years, so a flagship Android 2.0 phone sounded like something I could get along with.

DROID NOT SLICK, OR SEXY, OR LIGHT

DROID NOT SLICK, OR SEXY, OR LIGHT. DROID WILL DEFEAT GUTSMAN

My wife also had an upgrade and got the HTC Eris, her first smartphone. She got her phone first and for several days I thought about just getting an Eris, because it is also a rad phone and features HTC’s super-slick user interface, which I still sort of wish I could port to the Droid.

Where other smartphones are trying to get slicker and sexier, Droid staggers around and yells “SHUT UP COUNTRY MUSIC, LET’S PARTY.” It is all hard edges and industrial design. It is the smartphone equivalent of a muscle car: it looks like it kicks ass and then does.
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Public Enemies (Blu-Ray)

Dec 14 2009 Published by under Movies, Products

Public Enemies is not a good movie, even though it ought to be.

Michael Mann has made movies I very much enjoy. He made Heat. Heat is an awesome movie, and it runs parallel to Public Enemies in a number of ways: each had a good cast, plenty of budget, interesting subject matter, and were beautifully shot and edited. Hell, even the costume design was good.

Despite being a Kentucky Colonel, Colonel Depp failed to make anything useful of this film.

Despite being a Kentucky Colonel, Colonel Depp failed to make anything useful of this film.

Heat, however, was somehow far less ponderous, than Public Enemies. The dialog wasn’t nearly as clunky. The score to Heat was very good, but the music in Public Enemy was a heavy-handed beating.

I wanted to like Public Enemy, but we couldn’t even finish it because it was so boring. It was so boring, my wife started idly studying Arabic and I ended up installing wordpress plugins and making cookies. We skipped to the last chapter, saw that it ended in a moderately historically accurate fashion, and then turned it off.

Also, Universal Studios has terrible Blu-Ray production. Just because my player connects to the Internet doesn’t mean you have to make it do something with that. Also, do you need to advertise for the Blu-Ray format and try to convince me that I need to watch Blu-Rays on a new Blu-Ray player when I am already watching a Blu-Ray?


Score

On the High Five Scale, Public Enemies (Blu-Ray) gets a 2 out of 5.

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Ratings

Dec 12 2009 Published by under Site Info

This site provides reviews of an array of things – products, movies, TV, video games, and so on – for practical use and guidance. Some will be written in a literary style, some will seem like performance art. Everything is scored on a High Scale of 1-5. If something sucks, it gets a 1. If something is rad, it gets a High 5. For example:


Score

On the High Five Scale, this rating system gets a 4 out of 5.

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